How did I get here? I think we should go all the way back to the numerous challenges that started in early childhood for me. I was a child with frequent tantrums and a lot of rigidity around how I wanted things to happen. For example, I had to always ride alone in the very back of any car we had, alone, and we had to listen to my comfort books on tape. Otherwise I would not be joining on a long car ride. Every math homework assignment wound up completely ripped up and my mother and I were often in a screaming match. Any of this sound familiar? I saw my first therapist around 5 years old, where he attempted to teach me mantras for managing anger rather than melting down. And this continued to various intervals depending on how escalated things would get at home. Around 10 years old, I was finally evaluated and carried diagnoses of ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I took different behavior modifying medications and was treated by various therapists throughout my childhood and teenage years, and often the medications made a difference in things at home for everyone, but at the end of the day, this wasn’t helping me understand how my brain and body works or how I could manage the things that would trigger me into these epic meltdowns.
Fast-forward to when I went to college and I elected to stop taking any meds. I think probably I felt that the purpose for them was managed, or possibly it was a way for me to flex my independence… either way, I pretty quickly started to struggle. And honestly, I didn't even know why I was struggling. I was diagnosed with these “letters” from such a young age, I really didn't connect with what they meant or why I might experience things differently. The way anxiety felt, the executive functioning challenges that often come with ADHD, these things really didn't hit for me. So when I started experiencing these varied struggles again, I was not able to draw any connection to where they were coming from or my decision to stop medicating. I have always been bright and outgoing, and so these challenges were always easy to mask through sheer memorization and constant social engagement, but starting around my 20’s I at least started to be able to label the feelings of anxiety, lack of focus, overstimulation.
Enter Camp Starfish. If you have an opportunity, you should absolutely explore this place, it is a true social emotional haven for kids who have challenges. No, I did not attend Camp Starfish, but I did get a job there. I have always enjoyed helping others, working with kids, and staying busy and active, so when my best friend threw this option out for me I was all in. We ended up getting jobs there for the summer, and were thrown into the staff training that would change my life and launch my career. Their staff training is incredibly comprehensive given the potential complexities of their campers, and as we started to dive into strategies and tools and de-escalation this material was SERIOUSLY connecting. I started to understand why traditional discipline or typical structures and approaches had led me to spiral during my own childhood. I was a child who experienced a lot of complex emotions and feelings, without the words to describe them, and always being treated like I was “bad” or needed to “get it together” created a lot of shame for me. And learning and deepening my understanding around how to approach kids when they are struggling became a way for me to better know myself, and to heal from my own experiences. It also created a new framework for me to maintain my own self regulation during these challenging moments. Being able to be the adult that I had needed as a child, as cliche as it sounds, was so cathartic for me, and I knew that this was a field that I wanted to grow within.
I went on to get my Master's Degree in Applied Behavior Analysis and became a BCBA. I think that understanding the science of behavior is an important aspect to effective behavior change. I continue to maintain this license and apply these principles to all that I do, but I don't think that ABA is the end all be all. ABA is a scientific approach to understanding and changing various behaviors, and it uses research validated principles paired with data-driven decision making in order to support these behavioral changes. All of this is a fancy way of saying that ABA uses things that we know work, and we know they work because we can quantify and measure progress using data, not just saying “I think this is getting better.” And that is amazing and important. But what ABA often lacks is empathy, understanding, and diving deeper into the ways the brain functions under stress.
So following my completion of my Master's, I spent a lot of my career working in public school settings supporting students with various behaviorally related challenges including Autism, PTSD, ADHD, etc. And I always have found myself most drawn to supporting students who struggle with trauma and other mental health related needs. Through my work with this population I grew in my understanding that flexibility in our interventions matters, and taking the whole child into account is the only way to create successful behavior change. I also learned that trusting relationships are the cornerstone of managing challenging behavior. I dove deeper into learning more about neuroscience, and what makes our brains tick- how they learn best, and why certain kids are more likely to struggle under certain circumstances. I also wanted to know why our own regulation impacts how effective we are when children struggle, or why kids thrive with routines and predictable expectations. And no surprise…. There's some real science to that too, and I can't wait to talk about it with you guys.
I ended my “school career” as a Program Coordinator in the Boston Public School system. I was responsible for supporting several students with disabilities within one school on all of their behaviorally related needs, as well as helping teachers to better approach these unique learners and deepen their understanding of the purpose of Individual Education Plans. I left because my family and I were relocating across the country and I was heartbroken to leave the community that taught me ALMOST everything (don’t worry, we will never forget Camp Starfish). After our move, I never really felt like I found a new professional home on the West Coast and so here we are, at the birth of Behaviorish, where we are aiming to recreate all that my professional career has been thus far. A space to help others understand how best to tackle challenging behaviors, and also hopefully find a way to deepen their understanding and empathy for themselves as well.
We are so happy to have you and we can’t wait to take you on this journey with us. If you feel our services can help you, book a coaching session below!
